Itachi's Voodoo Hotline
by SkyUnderSeige
Summary: What happens when Itachi starts a voodoo merchandise line, and sells them to anyone willing to buy?Well, Iruka, Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura are about to find out. SasuNaru, KakaIru, hinted ItaKyuu and others. DISCONTINUED.
1. Introductions

**Warning(s): **Shounen Ai, BoyxBoy relationships, maybe cursing..?

**Pairing(s): **SasuNaru, KakaIru, hints of ItaKyuu, hints of others.

**Disclaimer:**Nope.Don't own.

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

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"Hello!Thank-you for calling Itachi's Voodoo Hotline!What can I get for you?"A long haired brunette asked cheerfully into the phone.

_"Yes, hi.Do you happen to sell Iruka Umino dolls?"_

Itachi paused for a brief moment, shuffling through the papers on his desk.The papers held a list of what types/names of dolls they made. More shuffling noises was made until a low 'Aha!' came from Itachi."Why, yes.I happen to, you wish to buy one, correct?"

_"Yes."_

"Alright then, may I ask your name?"

Silence met Itachi's question.Hesitance was obivious from the other side of the phone.Hesitance to give a name.Just as Itachi rose an eyebrow and was about to ask again, a clear voice answered,_"Um... Mr.Scarecrow."_

Itachi's pen immediately checked off the box beside Iruka's name,"Clothed or no?"The Uchiha asked into the phone.

_"You can do that?!"_An excited Mr.Scarecrow's voice came.

"Yes,"Itachi replied smoothly, "I only wish to give my customers the most pleasurable experiences."

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Two days later, a happily grinning Kakashi made his way over to his dolphins' house, carefully handling his new toy.His toy was a prefect replica, right down to the scar over the bridge of his nose.His little Iruka chibi voodoo doll even had a forehead protector on!And as to the question of clothes or no, well, Kakashi had taken quite a liking to his life and he didn't to lose it over a doll.

The Jounin giggled as thoughts of what he could do to his dolphin filled up his mind.Oh, Itachi was a genius to come up with something like this...

Lost in his musings, the silver-haired man almost walked completely past his lovers' house.Retracing his steps, he looked up and spotted an open window. Grinning cheekily,he jumped up to the window and sneakily snuck in, careful not to hurt his chibi doll.

"What are you doing?"

Kakashi froze and turned around to meet his lover.He smiled, completely forgetting he had just broke into his lover's house.He had done it tons of times before, so why would it bug him now?

"Dolphin!"The Jounin greeted,"Look what I've got!"

The silver-haired man then, pulled out his chibi Iruka doll to show his lover. The brunette frowned,"What is that?"

"It's a chibi voodoo doll that looks like you!It's got a special attribute from your own body attached to this."

If possible, the brunette frowned deeper,"Voodoo?Special attribute?"

Kakashi grinned, "Let me show you, ne?"With that, he briefly made a hand seal with his right hand and muttered,"Mezame."(1) The chibi Iruka doll twitched briefly before becoming still again.

The Jounin grinned wider and asked, "Ready?"

Iruka grew extremely suspicious at this point.Not that he wasn't before, but now it had increased tenfold.The scar on his nose wrinkled as he watched his lover raise the chibi doll, and grab one of it's arms, and lifted it.As if on cue, Iruka's own arm raised as if by itself.Iruka's eyes widened, and he tried to move his arm, but to no avail.Iruka turned his eye's to his lover with a glare, but Kakashi had a perverted grin on.

And all throughout the night, Iruka wanted to rip and destroy the doll into little itty bitty pieces.

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_The next day..._

At the bridge, you could see a hyper blonde, an angsting raven and a head-over-heels-in-love-with-Sasuke, cherry blossom.Things were at their usual, Sakura trying desperately to get Sasuke's attention, Naruto, trying to get Sakura's attention, and Sasuke who only had eyes for a certain blonde.

Ahhh.Things were great.

Then, a light 'poof' ing noise disturbed the love triangle.Sakura and Naruto's heads immediately snapped up, both yelling at the same time,"You're late!"And Sasuke just issued a brief ,"Hn.".

"Maa, maa... My bad.You see, there was-"Kakashi started, only to be cut off by a loud blonde.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei...what's that?"Naruto blurted, pointing out the brown tuft of hair sticking out of the pocket of the Jounin's vest.

"Hmmm?"Looking down, the Jounin grinned, then pulled at the brown hair to reveal a chibi Iruka doll."This... is my chibi voodoo Iruka doll!"Kakshi presented with a flourish.

Naruto looked genuinely interested, while Sakura looked slightly disturbed and Sasuke looked...at the stream flowing under the bridge.

Suddenly, Kakashi grinned even more and stuffed the Iruka doll away gently, and searched in his vest for something.Eventually finding it, Kakashi pulled out three other dolls.One with pink hair, one with blonde and one with raven hair."I even got some of my favourite students!"

All three students looked at their sensei disbelievingly.Sasuke even went out of his way enough to ask, "Why?"

To answer this, Kakashi's visible eye curved upwards, as he lifted Sakura's doll.Making a one-handed seal,the Jounin whispered, "Mezame."The doll twitched, then became immovable.He immediately lifted a couple kunai out of his pocket and fixed it to the doll's shirt.Walking over to a tree, he stuck the kunai in the tree, and just as he did that, Sakura was drawn to that tree.Her body moved on it's own accord, her legs immediately moving towards the tree.

"What the-?"The cherry blossom asked,trying to get her body to move.She freaked out when she reached the tree, her back was aganist it,she couldn't move away from the tree.Even using her hands to get away proved pointless.She immediately turned her glare to Kakashi who grinned, "See?Voodoo.It works."

Naruto was staring open mouthed, at the tree.Her doll was placed right next to her on the tree, with a couple of kunai keeping it there.But, Sakura had no kunai or anything holding her back.And she was...stuck!

"Cool!I wanna try, I wanna try!"Naruto burst out, and immediately ran over to his sensei.Sasuke just stared emotionlessly at the pinned ninja.

"You really wanna try, Naruto?"Kakashi asked, his eye curving upwards.Naruto nodded enthuastically.

Sasuke had a sinking feeling.

The Jounin grabbed the look alike Sasuke doll and Naruto doll, and muttered,"Mezame."The Jounin immediately brought both dolls together, their chests touching.Immediately after that, Sasuke and Naruto were pulled together, their chests touching.Kakashi made Naruto wrap his arms around Sasuke's neck, while Sasuke's arms went around the blonde's waist.They both were blushing.

Sakura stared, open mouthed, at the two boys.Turning another glare at their sensei she burst out,"What the hell are you doing?"An angry blush flattened upon her face.

All three boys just ignored her, while the oldest toyed with the dolls some more. Slowly, a pale hand went up a black shirt, causing the blonde to shiver and let out a small moan. Sasuke smirked of his own accord and let Kakashi do whatever he wanted to do with them.As long as it continued like this, Sasuke would be one happy ninja.

Kakashi continued to play with the dolls, he now had Sasuke pin Naruto aganist a tree, and suck on his neck.The blonde moaned and moved his hands all over the pale boy's back.The current doll master grinned, but shot a look towards Sakura.There she was, pinned and staring at the two boys as if they had lost their minds.Feeling a bit of pity towards her, he stopped manipulating the dolls, muttering a word to stop them.He grinned and walked over to the girl and smiled slightly before releasing her too.

When she was let go, she glared at him, but thanked him all the same.Looking back, she saw both boys still at it, moaning and groaning eachother's names.She blushed and looked back to Kakashi demanding,"Why don't you stop that, already!Can't you see they're clearly _not_ enjoying themselves?!"

The Jounin looked over to see the two boys still at it, and they looked totally enwrapped into eachother.And he was sure neither was going to let go soon.And, they looked pretty damn happy to him.He turned his smile back to Sakura and said,"I've already stopped, Sakura."

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"Is everyone done their quiz?"Iruka asked his class at large.

Murmurs of 'yeah' and 'of course' rang throughtout the class as they returned their papers.

"Good.Now everyone return to your seats please."

The student obeyed, and once they were all seated, they turned their attention back to the front of the class.Iruka smiled,"Now, for our next quiz-"The brunette's speech was cut short however, as his hand moved of it's own accord and slowly, and seductively pulled down the zipper on his vest.The class watched with wide eyes as Iruka blushed.

Looking up at the class, he suddenly yelled out to the room, "KAKASHI!!!" The hand pulling down his zipper immediately stopped.The dolphin, then, reached behind his desk and pulled out a kunai.Aiming it out the window, he threw it, and heard a brief 'eep'.

Seconds later, a sheepishly grinning Kakashi stood in the window sill, rubbing at the back of his head."Uh... Gomen?"

As an answer, Iruka only glared, and reached behind the desk.Pulling his hand back, he revealed he was holding a chibi voodoo doll of Kakashi himself.Grinning despite himself, Iruka made a hand seal and muttered, "Mezame." The doll twitched. Iruka grinned up innocently up at his lover and grabbed at the Kakashi dolls' arm.

Kakashi flushed, as he watched Iruka pull out a doll.. a doll that looked like him.Then, his hand, not of his own accord, reached up towards his mask.The Jounin's eyes widened."No!Iruka...please, don't!!!!"He called out pleadingly.

Iruka only smiled as he controlled the doll.Kakashi's hand tugged at the edges of the mask, his eyes widened with horror.

"NO!!!!"

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Itachi sat calmly at a desk, looking through the papers.Shuffling through them, he finally found the page he was looking for.The ordering sheet. He scanned his eyes down the paper, looking apprecitatively at his makings.

Suddenly, the door to the office opened, and Itachi whipped his head around to glare at the intruder.

"Hey, Itachi.How's sales?"Kisame asked, walking in calmly,ignoring the glare he was receiving.At the shark man's question, Itachi immediately brightened up.

"So far, I've got requests for one Ino Yamanaka doll, one Sakura Haruno doll, Thousands upon thousands of Sasuke dolls,"Itachi paused and sighed,"Poor little brother..."Then as if he didn't just have a moment of pity for his brother, he continued,"One Naruto Uzumaki doll, One Shikamaru Nara doll, and about one hundred Kakashi Hatake dolls."

Kisame blinked."Woah..." Itachi was getting quite the little business!,"Good luck, I guess..."With that, Kisame left the room all alone to the little voodoo doll creator.

Once the shark man was gone, Itachi immediately dug in his desk and grabbed onto a soft chibi plushie with nine tails,"My one and only..." Then , nuzzling the plushie, Itachi muttered contentedly,"Ah, Kyuu-kun..."

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Iruka calmly made his way home, finally reaching his door.Exhausted, he unlocked the door and immediately looked to the table.His Kakashi doll was gone.

All traces of fatigue gone, the chocolate haired man searched and searched, looking under the couch, in the cupboards, in the bathroom, everywhere.But his Kakashi doll was nowhere to be found.

Finally, thinking the last place he would ever put it, would be in his room, he left to find his room.Reaching the door, he pushed it open. Revealing the room to his sights, he paused slightly and sighed, there sitting on his bed was none other than the scarecrow himself.

"Kakashi, have you seen my doll of you?"Iruka asked.

"Hmm?"Kakashi asked, acting innocent,"I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear dolphin."

"Really?"

"Mmm hmmm..."

"I think you're lieing."

"I think I'm not."

"You really had _nothing_ to do with the disappearance of the doll?"Iruka suspiciously asked.

Kakashi nodded, "Nothing," Of course, in all reality, he did. After what he dolphin almost made him do, he had to get rid of it!He burned the little doll, until it was no more.He threw the pieces(after mutulating it into little pieces hardly visible to the eye.) into the wind, never to be found again.Yes, he was quite proud of himself.

"Good.I knew you'd never _ever_ do something that would hurt me, right, Kakashi?"Iruka asked with a cheerful grin.

Ok, now was a time to get suspicious.He looked alittle _too_ happy to have lost his precious doll.But, he answered anyways,"Never, Iruka, dear."

"Good, cause, y'know.."Iruka smiled, walking to his clost and turning the handle," I'd _hate_ for you to hurt me, Kakashi."Then, grinning even more, Iruka pulled open the closet door.Tons and tons of Kakashi look alike dolls tumbled form the closet and onto the floor."But, I always have a backup." The brunette chided, gesturing to the mass of dolls littering floor.

Kakashi felt his face flush.Oh, Kami.Inwardly, he cursed Itachi.Cursed him and his stupid dolls.Him and his ingenius acts.Him and his stupid, stupid ideas.

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A/N: Hhaha, I love this.Iruka already figured out Kakashi had burned his doll.Poor Kakashi though...think of what Iruka could do with all those dolls.The order form that Itachi had, were obiviously dolls that other people ordered.Shikamaru ordered the Ino doll, Lee ordered the Sakura doll, You can guess who bought all the Sasuke dolls,(-cough-Fangirls-cough-)Sasuke ordered the Naruto doll, and Ino ordered the Shikamaru doll. There, now that that's explained,you can have an idea of the other hinted couples.

(1) Mezame- It basically means, 'to wake up' or 'awaken' in japanese.

I had this idea in my head for awhile.I finally decided to post it.What did you think?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!Any questions or anything, just ask!Leave a signed review and I'll reply!

Ja!


	2. A New Doll,New Conflicts?

Pairing(s): SasuNaru, KakIru, Hints of ItaKyuu and other etc..  
Disclaimer: No.Don't own any of the characters.-sigh- do we have to go through this everytime?

A/N: Alright, my readers!!!I happened to get alot of reviews and requests to continue this story, so here it is!I hope  
you enjoy the second chapter of Itachi's Voodoo Hotline!!!It took me awhile to get my thoughts around another  
chapter, so this one may not come out as good as the first, but leave a review and the next chappie will be better.

* * *

A pink haired cherryblossom currently sat in a tree pondering.Pondering over what had happened earlier, with  
her sensei and her two teammates.First she was pinned to a tree, then she had to watch as...as...her sensei made 

Sasuke and Naruto...make...make... Kami-sama!She couldn't even say it, it was so horrible.And then, even when  
Kakashi-sensei stopped, they were still doing...it!

It was impossible!How could Sasuke-kun like Naruto?They're the same gender!That's just...wrong!It must have been the after effects of the dolls..right?Right?!Yes, the after effects of the dolls, that's all it was!

Cheering inwardly at her self-concluded conclusion, she jumped off the tree in search for her beloved Sasuke-kun.

* * *

After bluntly showing Kakashi his blantant doom with the masses upon masses of dolls of him he had bought, Iruka  
carefully hid each and every one.It just wouldn't do if Kakashi found all the dolls and burned them would it?Then all his  
fun would go down the drain. 

Hidden in one of the dolphin's pocket was his very own miniature sized Kakashi doll.It was a limited edition thing, pocket sized!As it  
was, the doll was currently positioned in his left pocket of his Chuunin vest, in case of emergency.In case his lover came out of nowhere and decided to get revenge.

He had hidden all the other dolls in places he'd hoped that Kakashi would never look in, but with him you'd never know.

Sighing, the dolphin continued to walk throughout the slim streets of Konoha, wondering where his lover was.He didn't want to  
end up walking into some trap.

Keeping his eyes open for any ambushing, mask-wearing perverts, he continued walking.

* * *

"Sasuke-kun!!!" 

Sasuke cringed as two pale arms wrapped around his right.A flash of pink hair signified the arrival of Sakura.

"So, Sasuke-kun, I was thinking about earlier.Y'know about Kakashi-sensei and the dolls?"

The raven grunted in reply.

"You know how Kakashi got you and,"She paused here and scowled at the ground,"_Naruto_ to do...to do..that?Well, what were you  
doing after Kakashi stopped?I mean, it must've been the after effect of the dolls or something right?I mean why would you do something like that with Naruto of all people..?"

Sasuke just tuned her out after the mention of 'Kakashi'.He really didn't feel like talking to her, and with her clinging to his arm, he figured she wouldn't be letting go for awhile.And what was with his dobe?After Kakashi had left (and Sakura crying) he had some kind of tempertantrum and then stormed off!And that's what he was doing now, looking for his dobe.And then, this pink haired bit-

"Sasuke-kun?Are you listening to me?"

Sasuke turned his head to look down at Sakura."No."He answered bluntly with an added glare,"And let go of my arm."

"But, Sasuke-"

"Let go, _now."_

Looking up, at the fuming raven, Sakura reluctantly let go.Sasuke briefly glared at her and walked straight past her, a set person in his mind.  
"Sasuke-kun, wait!Where are you going?"

Sasuke didn't even answer.

* * *

Kakashi sat, and pondered.What was he going to do for revenge?He had already destroyed the original plushie of himself, but then Iruka had to come up with thousands more of him!He didn't want another episode happeneing like earlier.No way.He wouldn't risk another time like that...he would just avoid his lover until he found a way to get revenge. 

But avoiding his lover had it's disadvantages.Like, no more molesting in public areas, or groping!He didn't know if he could handle that.Being away from his precious lover...gah!He couldn't even imagine it!Oh, what was he going to do?He had to avoid Iruka to think of some kind of revenge, but then avoiding him would just make him become sexually frusturated, even if it was only a day!

Sighing resoultely, he stood up and decided to take a walk.Maybe a walk would do him good...?

* * *

"Dobe!" An angered growl forced a small blonde boy out of his thoughts. 

"Huh?"Naruto muttered, looking up and meeting the eyes of an irritable Uchiha.Immediately puffing his cheeks out in anger, the blonde crossed his arms over his chest, and turned his face away from Sasuke with a cry of,"I don't wanna talk to you, Sasuke-hentai!"

Sasuke's eye twitched._Pervert?_ Calmly, Sasuke walked over to his dobe and sat down comfortably beside him.Naruto turned his head the opposite way, still angry.Silence became them.

A few minutes passed, Sasuke silently amused at his dobe's actions, and Naruto just pissed off.A few seconds later, Naruto's arms uncrossed and blue eyes started to steal glances at the raven beside him.A few more minutes of silence, and another glance was stolen.

Sasuke smirked,"Am I so handsome you can barely keep your eyes off of me?"

"You teme!Actually, if you _must_ know, I was wondering what was in your pocket!"Naruto exclaimed, pointing to the obivious bump in the raven's pocket.

Sasuke grunted, and slowly pulled out the item in his pocket.The blonde watched with wide eyes as Sasuke pulled out a perfectly molded mini doll.The blonde's heart dropped like a stone into his stomach.Why..why did Sasuke have that...?Did Sasuke not like him anymore?

Dread and panic came over Naruto's senses.Accompanied by an overwhemingly sense of depression.His heart felt totally ripped from his body.He felt betrayed.Sick and betrayed.How could Sasuke do this to him?He didn't understand, Sasuke had never ever shown any type of affection to...

"Heh, this dobe," Sasuke paused, a smirk on his pale face," is one of the best decisions I've ever made." The raven deftly held up his hand, and brandished the doll in the blonde's face.A doll with a red shirt and black shorts.A girl doll with pink hair.

_...Sakura._

* * *

A/n: Ah!Please, don't kill me!Crappy chapter, I know.Kind of a cliffy though.But, I'd really like to thanks those how supported this story and asked for me to continue it.I got alot of that, so Im reaallly happy that I decided to continue this.You reviewers make me so happy! -Hugs reviewers- And so, for all those who wanted me to continue this story, this chapter is dedicated to you.I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, although I admit it wasn't my best and there wasn't much to it, but I promise more exciting things for next chappie! 

Also, I was wondering.Does anyone have any ideas for Kakashi's revenge?I've got a few ideas, but none of them seem good enough.Any ideas?If there's one I particularly like (and I use), I'll dedicate the chapter to that person.Or, if you like I can write up a one-shot for you!Your choice!

Ja!


	3. Confusions cleared, Revenge taken

**Title:**Itachi's Voodoo Hotline  
**Rating:**M  
**Pairing(s):** SasuNaru, ItaKyuu, KakaIru, hints of others.  
**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own.But the ideas and plotline are mine!

* * *

"Ah, If only for a moment, Kyuu-kun..."Itachi murmured,lazily flicking hair from Kyuubi's dolled face,"Mezame." 

The doll briefly twitched, then became still.

_"Kyuubi-kun...!"Itachi cried as he ran towards the other.  
"Itachi-kun...!" Kyuubi called in reply._

_They both ran towards eachother, a single goal in each of their minds.Each spread their arms out and collided with one  
another.Falling over in a heap, Itachi loomed over the flushed redhead and smirked,"Well, well, well,Kyuu-kun.What do we  
have here?"_

_"I believe we have a catastrophe,"The kitsune paused, and flipped their positions,"That's better, don't you agree, Ita-kun?"_

_Itachi smiled, a small smile.But then shook his head,"Who said I was uke?"_

_"I did." Kyuubi purred into the dark man's ear._

_The current 'uke' shivered, then flipped their positions again, and pinned down Kyuubi's arms."Tsk,tsk.Why so sure of yourself?"The  
older Uchiha asked, rolling his hips unto the others._

_The kitsune moaned,"I-itachi...I need you to do someting for me..."_

_"Anything."_

_Kyuubi looked up, love and lust in his eyes,"You promise?"_

_Itachi nodded._

"Wake up."

Itachi jerked up with a jolt, an irritated look upon his handsome face,"Damnit!" Looking down, he realized his position.He had wondered why it was so  
cold.For there he was, flat on his stomach, on the floor, with the handsome Kyuu plushie splayed out under him.

Itachi sighed resoultely.

* * *

Two large golden blinked open stupidly, and then, a yawn broke out the silence.Slowly coming back from his dream world, Kyuubi blinked back the sleep from his beautiful eyes."Damn,"The fox cursed,"When can I ever get a decent night sleep...?" 

Shaking his great head, Kyuubi pushed his body weight to the side and rolled over.The fox blinked.Was it just him or did he not move at all? Trying again, he forced his body weight over, and didn't move."The hell!?"The kitsune screeched, trying to move from on his back where he was in...quite a compromising position.His front legs and back were spread out, as if someone was just laying ontop of him.

Trying again, and again, and again... he failed.Cursing, he tried one last time and from the force that he used, he rolled over many a time as he was released from...whatever it was.Glaring at the area where he was stuck to, he turned away, his tails flicking mockingly.

"Hey, Kit,"Kyuubi called,"Did you do something to me...?"

_What the hell are you talking about?! _Naruto's voice came to him.

"Well, I was stuck stuck to the floor in a rather...distinguished position, and was wondering of you had anything to do with it."

Immediately, Kyuubi sweatdropped.Of course, it has to do with the Uchiha.He shook his head.The Kit could deal with his own problems with Sasuke...he was too tired.Maybe he could fit in another nap?Nodding his head in silent agreement, he spun around in three circles in the spot, then settled down with his head resting on his tails.Another nap would be nice, right?One to pass the time?

* * *

"Kyuubi..."Naruto called,"Hey Kyuubi!" 

Naruto waited, and waited.And waited some more."Damnit, stupid fox.Falling asleep when Im trying to explain something to him..."

Of course, Naruto didn't even mind the fact that he was surely one to talk.But, he was seriously worried.Why did Sasuke have a Sakura doll?A _Sakura_ doll of all things?He had always thought that Sasuke didn't like her...at least in that way.Apparently, he did.And it hurt.It hurt alot.Knowing that someone you liked, liked someone else, was just hard to bear.Especially when Sasuke had gone all 'kissy kissy' on him.Although, he couldn't blame him for when he was being controlled by the doll.But, afterwards, he was still kissing him!And... and...he kinda liked it.

And what was with those dolls anyways?Creepy things.He figured Kakashi was just the right person who would get perverted thoughts from something like dolls.

Sighing, Naruto placed one foot in front of the other, and continued his leisurely walk that he was enjoying before Kyuubi interrupted. Continuing along his self-made path, his mind didn't even recognize the far-off call,"Naruto!"

The blonde continued walking, ignoring the calls of his name.Finally hearing footsteps, the blonde turned around and go an eyefull of pink hair, a cruse smile made it's way onto the blonde's face,"Sakur--"

Naruto was immediately bashed in the head by a fist, sending him spiraling down onto the ground."I-Itai."

"Naruto, you baka!I was calling you, didn't you hear me?!"

The blonde blinked, and blinked again.Looking up, confusion settled into blue eyes,"Huh?"

Sakura twitched.Naruto watched in an almost fascinated horror as the girl brought up her left fist and muttered darkly,"You complete moron."

The blonde flinched, and futilely placed his hands in front of his face, in hopes of protecting himself.Shutting his eyes tight, the blonde expected to hear a loud thunk followed by continuous pain inflicted by the pink...thing that stupid Sasuke has a crush on.A light screech was heard, then muffled cursing and shuffling.The blonde opened his eyes.He blinked, and looked to where he last saw Sakura.To his surprise, no pink haired ninja was standing before him, and threatening to kill him with her almight fists of anger.The blonde was confused, wasn't Sakura here a minute ago?

Then, the odd cursing and muffling came back to his ears.Immediately turning to his left, was the girl he had been looking for.And she was...stuck to the tree.The side of the blonde's lips twitched.There she was, twitching and screaming and cursing while stuck to a tree.A full-blown smile found it's way upon a tanned face as a cool voice spoke from behind him,"Heh.Dobe."

Naruto whipped around, the smile no longer there but replaced with a cool and distant face."Teme."

"Sa..Sasuke-kun?"A tentative voice spoke.Both boys looked up to see Sakura, smiling at the raven.Naruto nearly choked.How two-faced was she?When it's just himself and her, Sakura always treated him bad, but whenever Sasuke was around, she acts all cutesy and innocent!It made the blonde sick.

Ignoring Sakura, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm and pulled him up,"C'mon dobe, get up already."

"What?Where are we going?"  
"Away from here."  
"But I don't wanna!"  
"Too bad."

While the blonde started to pout, Sasuke walked over towards the tree where Sakura was pinned.Smirking lightly, the raven went behind the tree, and pulled the doll off the tree, muttering a brief word.The doll shook, then became still.Sakura fell to the ground with a light 'oof' issuing from her lips.Once again ignoring her, Sasuke went over towards his dobe, and paused at the sound of his name being called.

"Where are you going with..."Sakura paused to give Naruto a glare,"_him_. Wouldn't you rather go somewhere with me?"

Sasuke snorted,"As if."

* * *

The academy was packed.Filled to the brim with girls.Where ever you looked there was girls. 

"Everyone!"A girl cried out in front of the group,"Are you all ready?"

Murmurs and yells of, 'Yeah!' and 'Always!' and 'Hell yes!' reverberated throughout the room.The girl at the front of the room grinned,"Good."  
Evil flashes of eyes here and there could be seen, but what mostly could be seen were dolls with raven hair.Mostly of the girls were stroking the hair of  
the doll lovingly.

While others stared lustfully at the dolls they held in their hands.

"Soon," The girl at the front continued,"Soon we will commence operation: 'Kidnap Sasuke'. "

The girls grinned widely, clutching possessively at their dolls.

* * *

Iruka walked calmly through the forest, his eyes open for any 'suspicious' activity.One would never know when one's sex-crazed pervert of a boyfriend could jump out.Taking smooth steps, the dolphin breathed in deeply and let it out with a sigh.He wasn't just being paranoid.He knew his crazy boyfriend was stalking him, he could feel his faint chakra signature in the trees above him.He obiviously wasn't trying very hard to conceal himself. 

Reaching into his side pouch on his pant leg, Iruka calmly pulled out a kunai, turned around deftly, and toseed it onto the trees. A 'thunk' was heard as it hit the bark of a tree.Then, not surprisingly, Kakashi jumped out from the trees and grinned.

"Honestly, Koi, couldn't you have at least tried to conceal yourself from me?"

Kakashi looked momentarily taken aback.Sarcastically, of course. "But why, dolphin-chan?I want to be with you all the time, is that so wrong?"

Iruka glared,"_Yes._Haven't you ever heard of something called privacy?"

The jounin looked thoughtful for a moment,then replied cheerfully,"Nope!"

The dolphin shook his head.His lover really had no sense of self."What are you doing following me anyway?"

Kakashi grinned, and murmured one word,"Mezame."

Iruka looked surprised for a moment, but it was immediately covered by anger as he was pulled from his spot towards a nearby tree.When had he placed his stupid doll on the tree?And, why did he fall for that so easily?The chuunin let out a brief, 'itai' as his back made contact with the hard wood.He almost shivered as he watched his lover lazily stroll over to him.

"That's better, now isn't it?"

The dolphin glared."No.Now let me go!"

Kakashi grinned,"Nope.Not yet.I have unfinished business with you."  
"Wh-what do you mean?"  
"Remember a _certain_ incident at the Academy?"

Iruka's eyes widened._Oh shit._

"Oh!You do remember!"Came a joyful voice,"I had hoped."

Iruka glared.Kakahi grinned, and suddenly swooped in and began to suck on his captive's neck.The dolphin writhed on the tree, the bark scraping into his back as his lover licked and sucked on his neck.Leaving a trail of saliva behind in his wake, the white haired man began to slowly lower his kisses and sucks and nips to his lover's collarbone.When he reached the top of the vest, the Jounin stopped.

Slowing unzipping the Chunnin vest, the uncaptive male ripped it off, then slowly removed the light green shirt underneath.The sun shined upon his lover's flushed and angry face, and the Jounin grinned.Bending down, Kakashi replaced his mouth upon his lover's chest deftly taking a small round nipple into his mouth.Rolling his teeth over and over the small nub, his tongue flicked out and licked at it.Iruka groaned.

His lips left the red nub and continued down a tanned chest.Sucks, bites, nips and groans were heard as Kakashi got lower...and lower...and lower...

A gasp brought Kakashi out of his reverie.The white haired Jounin deliberately looked down, spotting a buldge in his lover's pants."Well, you're coming along nicely." His lovers' only reply was a strangled gasp as fingers teasingly pulled at the waistband of loose pants.

A whisper,"Koi...please..."

Kakashi chuckled,"This,dolphin-chan," The white haired man leaned in and deftly licked his lovers earlobe,"is me exacting my revenge"

And with that, the Jounin left a very turned on dolphin behind.

* * *

A/N: Oh, no!Oh, no!My best friends' going to kill me for that last bit.I just know it.She'll be ranting on and on to me about, 'Dolphin cruelty' for hours!I know what I did was evil, but, I couldn't think of anything that would be good enough for revenge.And, Kakashi's a 'hands on' type of person, so I figured this was a way to go.And, Jessie-chan, don't make my death too hurtful,okay? 

I also know the bit of 'intensity' between Kakashi and Iruka wasn't very long, or any good.I didn't have alot of time to finish this chappie, and I wanted to get it done and uploaded, so don't hurt me over it!

Does anyone want any lemons is this story?I dunno if I could pull off a ItaKyuu one, but I would be more than happy to do a KakaIru one, or even happier to do a SasuNaru one!What do you think?

Review for a mindless writer?Meow?


	4. Lost Words

**Title:**Itachi's Voodoo Hotline  
**Rating:**M  
**Pairing(s):** SasuNaru, ItaKyuu, KakaIru, hints of others.  
**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own.But the ideas and plotline are mine!

A/N: So, pplz wants some lemons?Allrighty then!I'll try to fix some in.XD- Oh yeah, and about the last chapter when Kyuubi and Naruto start talking and Kyuubi starts asking about why he was in such a 'distinguished' position?Well, after Naruto askes Kyuubi what the heck he was talking about, Kyuu replies, then Naruto starts rambling about Sasuke.Then, Kyuu sweatdrops and the story continues from there.Im sorry for the confusion, my computer and this site won't let me change it!Again, Gomen nasai, and I hope you enjoy the next installment of Itachi's Voodoo Hotline!

* * *

A blue moon shone brightly in the distance and clouds rolled in.Crickets chirped in the grass, and an eeries stillness seemed to control the night.Hardly anything living was out...

Unless, of course, you count one Iruka Umino, fast asleep still pinned to the tree.He was snoring lightly, his eyelashes creating shadows upon his face.His body was slumped, relaxed, exhausted, from his struggle to get free from the doll's hold.His head slowly lolled forward,his ponytail coming to whip him in the cheek lightly.

A light 'thump' noise was heard about ten feet away from the sleeping dolphin.Kakashi crept slowly up to the sleeping man, sighing as he did so, "Maa,maa, dolphin-chan,your still here?"

He made no sound as he crept behind the sleeping chuunin and quietly released the doll from the tree, deactivating it with a simple hand sign.Then, with a loud 'poof' he was gone.

The doll having been released, Iruka fell forward slowly, then hit the ground with a loud thump.His eyes immediately popped open, and a loud groan of pain sounded."I-itai.What ...happened?" He slowly sat up, his arms reaching for the sky as he yawned.Beads of tears collected at the corner of his eyes as his mouth opened wide.

"Did the effect wear off?"Iruka mused to himself._Or did Kakashi come and release it?_

He supposed he should get revenge, but if he did that...wouldn't things just end up being a continuous circle?What was the point of that?It could even ruin the relationship that he had with Kakashi...

Slowly getting up, he decided to worry about it tomorrow.Worrying wouldn't do him any good when it was the middle of the night.

* * *

The sun shone brightly down upon an open clearing, upon a black haired lazy shinobi who currently was enjoying the present company of the clouds.The wind blew deftly, ruffling up the boy's clothes slightly.He gave a low sigh, and rolled his eyes, already anticipating the meeting from the familliar chakra signature he was sensing._What a drag..._

"Shika-kun!"

A busty blonde bursted into his view, a smile on her face.Shikamaru sighed again,"What do you want Ino?"

Ino's face fell for a brief moment before it brightened again, "Look," She paused, then pulled out a small doll,"It's you!"

Shikamaru deadpanned for a moment, his gaze intent on the chibi doll in front of him.He sighed, his eyes closing for the briefest moment before re-opening and focusing on Ino,"You're too troublesome, what're you doing with such a bothersome thing?"

Ino immediately tsk-ed,"Your always saying stuff like, 'troublesome' and 'What a drag'.Y'know, if you weren't so lazy girls would pay more attention to you,"She paused, and when Shikamaru opened his mouth to reply, Ino cut in,"And don't you dare say girls are troublesome!"

The brunette sighed, returning his attention to the clouds.When Ino was bored of talking to him with no reply, then she would leave.And then he could enjoy the clouds in relative peace.

"So, anyway," Shikamaru sighed when Ino continued,"I've totally got the advantage over Sakura now!"

Ino smiled, not a rare occurance, and reached behind her back and pulled out another doll.Similiar to the last in the stitching, but not similiar at all in looks.

"Shika-kun, I've got a Sasuke-kun doll too!Isn't that the greatest?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes in annoyance._What a pain. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
_That Uchiha brat sure loves you, Kit_.

Naruto cast a nervous sideways glance towards his silent companion._He does not!Would you stop saying such stupid things? _

The only reply to that that the blonde received was a low,rumbling laugh.Naruto scowled.He would really never understand the stupid fox, all he did was talk in riddles or say things that always confused him, why couldn't he just say what he meant?

_But why?Why, when it's so much fun to tease you? _

_Gah!Go away!_

_Sorry, Kit.Can't._

_Then stop talking to me!_Naruto's faced turned a bright red, and his fists clenched at is sides.He glanced over towards Sasuke, who, he was surprised to see, staring at him."Gah!Teme!Why are you staring at me?"

Sasuke merely raised a brow in question, but didn't say anything, looking away to return his attention to the road.

_Doesn't he remind you of Itachi?He stares at you with the same, intent steady expression. _

_Itachi?No!And why would you bring him into this?_

_Because I can.And he's hot!For a human, anyway._

_And if you had a body of your own, you would probably hunt him down and rape him, wouldn't you?_Naruto could feel the fox shrug at this.  
_  
Probably.But, then you can't rape the willing. I can be very tempting. _

_Woah!Okay!I got it!_Naruto shivered involuntarily, then paused, _Kyuu, what would you do if you had a body of your own? _This time, he literally saw the evil smile that crossed the fox's face.

* * *

"Stupid.Naruto.Stupid...handsome...Sasuke!" Sakura fumed from her spot under the tree, her fists beating the ground ruthlessly.

Why?Why was Sasuke _always _with Naruto?Why couldn't he spend at least a few minutes with her?Why did Naruto always get the Uchiha's attention!They were on the same team!Despite being rejected for dates numerous times, couldn't he at least hang out with her, if anything, as a friend?

A dark scowl made it's way across her face.Angrily, she crossed her arms childishly across her chest, her bottom lip coming out in a pout.

"Sasuke-kuuunnn..." A tone-def voice sang out,"Pale as the moon, and stronger than ..."The singing voice stopped abruptly,"Um...any tune?"The voice made an agitated growling noise, then grew louder ,"That doesn't make sense, what rhymes with moon but doesn't sound stupid?"

And as the figure stomped into Sakura's eyesight, the pink kunoichi burst out in hysterical laughter.Sakura doubled over, her arms clutching her stomach in mirth, as she stared at a blushing and flustered Ino.Once the majority of her laughter had calmed down, Sakura snorted, " 'Sasuke-kun, pale as the moon'? C'mon, Ino-pig, how lame can you get?"

The obiviously embarrassed blonde put her hands out in front of her in defense,"I-I Couldn't think of anything better to use!"

"Uh huh.Sure."And another round of hysterics wracked her frame.

Ino fumed,"SA.Ku.Ra.Shut up!"

Unfortunately for her, this only made the pink haired girl laugh even harder.Ino glared at Sakura, her face reddening even more.And then, Ino smiled and easily reached in her pocket."Hey, forehead girl!I wasn't planning on telling you this so early, but look at this..."

Sakura paused to look at her, amusement written in her eyes,"What?"

And when Sakura's green eyes met coal ones of the doll Ino was holding, she screamed.

* * *

Naruto currently sat across from Sasuke,his blue eyes boring into coal ones, even as he took a drink of his tea."Why did you reject her?"

"Who?"  
"Sakura!"

Oh.Right.Her.Sasuke glared at the blonde,"I don't like her."

"Why?"  
"Why what?"

Naruto groaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his head in annoyance."Why _don't _you like her?She's pretty, she's nice, she's...she's..."

Sasuke smirked,"What's wrong Naruto?What else is she?Oh,please,do tell."

Naruto could tell Sasuke was being sarcastic.But nevertheless, he felt his face heat up in embarrassment.What else was Sakura?She was pretty, yes.She was nice...sorta.To Sasuke, anyways.She was genuine...but what else?"She's pretty, nice, genuine...y'know.Stuff like that."

" 'Stuff like that', huh?"Sasuke mocked,"I prefer someone with more defined qualities than, 'stuff like that'."

Naruto growled."But..."

Sasuke sighed, and placed his cup down,"Fine.Naruto, do you really want me to go out with her?"

The blonde blinked.Since when was Sasuke so agreeable?"Um...Yes?I mean, no!No!Yes!Um...I dunno..."

Sasuke scowled.He brought his hands up to his temples and rubbed harshly."Dobe.Fine.Whatever.I'll think about it.Just leave."

Naruto felt his heart falter.He'd think about it?He was actually considering it?He was _actually_ thinking about _asking _Sakura out?No.He didn't like that at all.He set his face into a glare.But doing as asked, Naruto stood."Whatever, Sasuke.Do what you like.But remember," Naruto swooped down in front of the raven who looked momentarily surprised," I will always," The blonde brought his hand up to cup the raven's cheek, but here he seemed to stumble over his words.A bright blush found it's way onto his cheeks.But with a smile, he withdrew."Nevermind.I'll see you later, Sasuke."

And with that the blonde left a blushing Sasuke behind.

* * *

Oh.My.Gosh. I'm sooo sorry this took me so long to update!Its was on my computer half finsihed, I just never had the time, or luxury to work on it.I hope you enjoyed it!Oh, and Ill be working on 'Identites Aside' s new chapter too toady, so it'll be up soon!Ja ne!

Review for a mindless write?Meow?


	5. Training

Disclaimer : I claim no rights to any of the Naruto characters

Another chapter of Itachi's Voodoo Hotline, up and running!Enjoy!Oh, and note this : If I haven't said it before, they're not twelve in this story.They're more like 15/16 ish.Sorry for the confusion, ( if any ) because I won't write any lemons with them being twelve...I just won't.And, the lemons should be coming up soon...maybe.XD

* * *

His breath came out in short huffs, his body tired from his extensive training regime. He had discarded his shirt a while ago, the sun being too hot. Sweat gleamed on the Uchiha's pale skin as he worked, his body twisting and bending in familliar ways.

Shurikens flew threw the air, all hitting the center of their targets. Sasuke landed on his feet in the middle of a clearing, satisified with his target practice's outcome. Casually, he wiped the sweat from his brow, and retrieved his weapons.

Making his way back to where his shirt lay discarded, he slumped down beside it, exhausted. He closed his eyes, and allowed himself to feel the cool breeze run over his heated skin. His eyes quickly snapped open from their relaxing state when a faint unfamilliar chakra signature reached him. He frowned, pulling himself up into a sitting position.

The tree leaves rustled from above him. His head snapped up, coal eyes searching the area. His hand reached for one of his shuriken, as he slowly stood up. Another rustle was heard from the bushes surrounding the area. Coal eyes narrowed, as he threw the shuriken at the source of the noise. Nothing moved, no sound was made.

Suddenly, Sasuke felt hands on his back, pushing him forward. He swiftly turned around, his coal eyes meeting Ino's amused ones."Hi, Sasuke-kun!" She chirped. Sasuke scowled at the girl, and opened his mouth to say something when a faint voice from behind him whispered, "Mezame."

Sasuke's eyes widened. _Shit!_

He felt himself being pulled, until his back hit coarse bark. His eyes flared red, and he whipped his head up. Inwardly, Sasuke's eyes widened. Ino smirked at him, and she turned her head to the side, as if acknowledging all the other girls around her. "How does he look, girls?"

The mob of girls that surrounded Ino replied in different ways. Many saying 'Hot!' and other replies, while some just fainted on the spot.

Sasuke glared," Let.Me.Go."

* * *

Naruto slammed the door to his apartment closed, his face stretching into a smile. The sun was shinning brightly, and hopefully today would be a good day. The wind blew a breeze through his golden locks, and a genuine small smile formed on his face.

_Today would be a good day for training_, he mused, his feet already taking him towards the familliar training grounds. The smile on his face grew impossibly bigger, if Sasuke was there he could spar with him. His heart seemed to leap in his chest, and he quickly frowned, before his feet took off in a sprint towards the training grounds.

It didn't take him long to reach the grounds. His hair was tossed around, his cheek in a healthly pink flush. His shoudlers heaved in light pants, a exhilarated look in his eyes. He scanned the area, and he frowned slightly when he realized he wasn't alone. "Um..." He muttered to himself, confused as to why there were so many _girls_here. Possibly only one or two of them being kunochi's.

He stumbled a few steps to the right, where he saw a break in the group of girls. He peered past them, and his jaw dropped. Tiny tremors shook his frame, till his loud laughter burst out of his mouth. His knees gave out, and he fell onto his back on the floor, laughing harshly.

However, his laughing fit seemed to alert the girls in the area.Tons of heads whipped to face him, including Sasuke's, which he was all but oblivious to. His hands clutched his stomach in mirth, a bleary blue eye opening.The laughter immediately ceased, when he noticed all the murderous type looks on the grils' faces. He stood up straight, and attempted to smile sheepishly,"Um... hi?"

He watched, as some of the girls let out outraged cries and came running at him.He could barely let out a small 'epp' before he was thrown to the ground ruthlessly, his body being crushed by all the excess weight pouring down on him. He struggled helplessly, rolled his eyes, as his body disappeared in a loud 'poof'.

Some of the girls stilled, their eyes searching frantically, others looking bewilderly at the ground where the blonde boy had previously sat. "Where did he go...?"

Ino stomped her foot angrily, her eyes glaring at the groups of girls. "It was a shadow clone, obviously, so don't just stand there, get up! We have..." She stopped purposefully here, so her gaze could go to where Sasuke was held. She froze, and then screamed.

Sasuke no longer stood where they had previously left him, all traces of him had vanished. Even his shirt, which he had discarded awhile ago, was gone.Her face flushed angrily pink, and then she stormed off, her hair flying in the wind.

* * *

"Hello, Itachi's Voodoo Hotline. How can I help you?"

Itachi's face creased slightly, when no response was given. His head tilted questionably, while his fingers played with the phone cord. He cleared his throat and tried again,"How can I help you?"

A cold silence was all that was heard. Itachi frowned, leaning forward in his chair. His eyes flashed to the hook, and then to the phone in his hand. Pulling the receiver from his ear, Itachi let it hover over the hook. And finally with a low chuckle, he understood. The receiver was placed back at his ear, a smirk evident on the pale face.With perfect calm he answered the silence.

"Hello, Otouto."

* * *

A/N: Oh, that's so _horrible_! I expected this chapter to be so much better. And it's _so_short. I'm sorry about all that, and the lateness of this update. I'll try to get the next chapter up right away. No promises, though.


	6. To Thank Someone

_  
A/N : _Oh, everyone! Im am soooooo sorry! My computer wouldn't let me bring up my Wordpad document, thus me rightly naming it evil, and I so apologise for the lateness. It's way overdue, and I totally understand if I don't get alot of reviews for this chappie. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke almost felt the need to thank the blond for helping him out of his earlier situation.

_Almost_, being the key word.

In fact, he came just about as near as thanking the blond as you would thank Tsunade for stealing your secret stash of sake, then switching it with an unknown 'medicine' that made you break out in hives for a week. Not that Sasuke had any secret stash of sake, of course. So, ultimately, he hadn't thanked the blond, and it was driving him crazy.

So crazy, in fact, that he had found himself standing in front of _Sakura's_ front door.

His fingers softly nudged the pink haired doll in his pocket. It was for protection, if the situation called for it. So, silently, he raised his hand, cursed himself mentally, and knocked on the door.

He would go to the source. That was his plan. He would go to the source, Sakura being the first person he knew that had a doll excluding his teacher, and ask her where she had gotten the doll. When he had that information he would go to the source, and destroy every single last doll the dollmaker created. Then, he would somehow collect every doll in the village, and destroy them too. Then there would be no more mindless dolls that created such a infliction on his personal space. Or anyone else's for that matter.

Truthfully, he hadn't gotten his doll of Sakura himself. In fact, he had gotten some little kid he had seen running around staring at the Uchiha Complex frequently to get it for him. He had been to busy to do it himself.

His eyes jerked up from the ground, when he heard Sakura's front door being pulled open. Expecting to see a pink haired girl slightly shorter then him, he was surprised to see a taller woman, with flowing pink hair a couple shades darker than Sakura's. A small gasp escaped her, and then she smiled softly, "Can I help you, Uchiha-san?"

Sasuke nodded politely, "Mrs.Haruno. Is Sakura home?"

"Actually, Uchiha-san, last time she was home, she told me she was leaving to look for you. Training or something."

Sasuke nodded again, "Training? Right, then. Thank you for your time."

She nodded, and he left without a word.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Naruto fell unhelpfully to the ground. From above him, a loud sigh was heard.

"Naruto, you idiot, your not supposed to_ fall to the ground_."

The blonde whined quietly, "It doesn't help that you started throwing kunai at me."

"Your supposed to _dodge_."

"Dammit, Kiba, you threw them at me out of freakin' nowhere!"

Kiba growled, "Well, maybe if you actually did what you were supposed to do, maybe I wouldn't have!"

Blue eyes narrowed as he sat up abruptly. His legs bunched, and extended, throwing himself at the glaring teen in the tree. Kiba's eyes widened slightly, before being toppled over the tree branch and hitting the ground roughly, "Naruto," He muttered through gritted teeth,"Get off me right now."

Naruto ambled off the other, a cheeky grin on his face, "See?See?It's not nice to fall to the ground from a random attack, now is it?"

The other ignored him, opting for rolling over in the grass. His gaze flickered over to the blond, double taking quickly as something shiny caught his eye. He pushed himself up, and slowly walked over, ignoring Naruto's confused inquiries. He squatted down in front of the object and scooped it up. His eyes flashed in recognition, "What the hell is one of these doing here?"

"Hey!" Naruto's voice chirped from over his shoulder, "It's one of those dolls. The creepy do-whatever-I-tell-you ones. Sasuke has one of those."

"Yeah," Kiba muttered in agreement,"So does Hinata, surprisingly enough."

"Eh? Hinata? She.. she has a doll?"

"Yeah."

"_Hinata?_ Are you serious?"

"Yes!"

Naruto slumped over in the grass. Suddenly, he eyed the brunette slyly, "So what one does she have?"

Kiba shrugged, "Dunno. Just know she has one."

"Hmph." The blonde leaned closer to the doll, "But why is it here?Who's is it? And who would want a stuffed doll of _Neji?_"

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura felt like crying. Crying in happiness, of course. She had come home early, after her rabid attempt to find Sasuke and tell him to look out for Ino-pig, only to find that her mom had spoke to him earlier. And that he had come to her house look for her.

Actually came to _her _house.

Looking for _her._

She had immediately demanded when he had come and what _exactly_he had to say. Her mom told her in a quiet tone, her eyes sparkling at he daughter's exuberance. And then, Sakura was gone in a flash. Or, rather a loud poofing sound and a trail of smoke.

She was currently running around near the Uchiha Complex, a healthy red flush on her cheeks, and a smile plastered on that could be seen for miles. She came to a stop in front of the dusty raod that led to the building. Sasuke's home. Sasuke's _house._If she caught him at home, maybe would she be invited inside quickly? Would she be offered tea or something? Would Sasuke smile at her softly when he answered his door?

All her minds thought, however, trailed to an abrupt halt, when she felt a hand grip her arm and swiftly pull her around. She squeaked indignantly, her eyes narrowed in a glare. It faltered when Sasuke's face met her gaze. She gushed happily, "Sasuke! I was looking for you!You came to my house, right? I hope I'm intruding or anything, but I'd thought I'd come see you, since I couldn't find you in the village. And -"

"Sakura."

She stopped to smile at him, her cheeks dusted a pretty pink, "Hmm?"

"I have a favour to ask."

Her heart fluttered a million times in response to his voice.

"Sure, anything!"

"Tell me... where did you get that doll of me that you always obsessively carry with you?"

Sakura's face fell slightly. That wasn't what she was expecting; well, she didn't know what to expect, but that _wasn't_it. Her smile flickered uncertainly,"M-my doll?Of you? Well, I heard it from Kakashi-sensei. He smiled at me, and handed me alittle piece of paper with a number on it, but I can't remember - "

"Go get it."  
"Huh?"  
"Go get that piece of paper."  
"But it's back at my house..."  
"Just go get it."

Sakura's brow creased slightly."If that's what you really want..."She paused, "Then will you come back with me to my house?"

Sasuke looked conflicted, but then agreed with a curt nod, "Fine."

The grin was plastered on her face again, "Let's go, then!"

XxXxXxXxXxXx

"What the hell is with these dolls? They keep poppin' up outta nowhere!" Naruto fumed silently, before swopping down and finding another small doll,"Look, Kiba. Can you believe it? This one's a doll of _you._"

Kiba's eyes narrowed, "Give me that." His hand darted out and snatched his chibi form away from the blonde, "Don't want you using it on me or sumthin'..."

The blonde grinned.

After finding the small doll of Neji, they had decided to go show him, but had been distracted when they had found another one nestled in the grass. They had picked that one up, and kept walking, coincidentally finiding more in random places as they walked. Naruto's eyes darted to the six dolls currently in Kiba's hold.

Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura.

Kiba's bark of laughter tore Naruto's attention away from the dolls, "What's so funny?"

"Look, Naruto." He muttered, copying the words earlier used,"Can you believe it? This one's a doll of _you_."

The blonde's eyes widened,"What the hell...?"

Kiba laughed, "But seriously, a doll of _you?_Who would want that...?"

Kiba was suddenly tackled into the ground for a fierce competition over the chibi blonde doll.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Wow. Done. It's short. Or is it longer than before? ut Im so glad I got an update in. It's been sooo long, huh? Im so sorry. Really, I am. Now, I gotta go work on planning out the next chapter and working on typing the next one for Identities Aside. Ah, the pain!The work! What a slave driver I am. Seriously. -dies-


	7. The Number To Change It All

A/N : Yay! Another update! How'd you like that? My computer.. is,well...being nice, actually. For the time being. I probably shouldn't have said that, y'know?Now it probably won't work for me at all... damn karma. Oh, and Murphy's Law. - Grumbles- Enjoy the chappie, everyone. And I hope Im keeping up with the Humor aspect of this story. Am I doing alright?

Enough of my rambles. Here it is! The seventh chapter of Itachi's Voodoo Hotline! -Insert dramatic music-

* * *

Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura.  
Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura.  
Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura. Naruto.

Naruto sighed, flopping onto his back. There was just so _many_ of them. Where the hell did they all come from? He really didn't want to think on the fact about what would happen if someone got a hold of all these dolls. It would be complete and utter _choas. _Hell, _anarchy_ might be a better word. What was he supposed to do with all of them?

Blue eyes trailed from the sky to the growing pile of chibi dolls beside him.

Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura. Naruto.  
Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura. Naruto. Iruka.  
Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura. Naruto. Iruka. Kakashi.  
Neji. Kiba. Hinata. Shikamaru. Sasuke. Sakura. Naruto. Iruka. Kakashi. Ino. Lee. Shino. Chouji. TenTen.

Naruto groaned. The list just went on and on and on.

Kiba's hands slowly picked one doll up at a time, placing them in a basket they had been forced to drag along due to the amounts of dolls.

"Hey, Naruto?"  
"What?"  
"What are we supposed to do with all these dolls?"  
"How am I supposed to know?"

After that, no sound issued from around the two boys except the sounds of soft thumps coming from the dolls landing in the basket. Soon that noise was even non - existent. Kiba flopped back down onto the grass, an exhausted sigh coming from his lips. Maybe they should just go show Tsunade all these dolls...maybe she would know what to do. But then again, she'd either be too drunk or dead asleep across her papers. If they woke her up, she'd probably be too cranky to do anything with them. So, the Hokage was out of the question. Maybe they could just...

"Naruto..." The brunette sat up slowly, eyeing the half-asleep blonde.  
"What?"  
"What do you say to...burning them?"

Naruto blinked stupidly, "Burning them?"

Kiba nodded, his face stretching in a smile, "What if we burned them? Then we wouldn't have to go to Tsunade or anything, and then they'd be gone!"

"But what about the dolls that people have? Like.. Sasuke.." He paused here, a small scowl lighting his lips, "Has a Sakura doll. And Im pretty sure Sakura has a Sasuke doll. And.. probably Ino too. And Hinata has a doll, like you said earlier. Oh! And Kakashi-sensei has one of Iruka..."

A light scowl flashed across the brunette's face, "Then we take those ones, then burn them!"

Naruto frowned, jabbing a finger out to point at Kiba, "These things are pretty popular, though. Do you really think we can just...steal them?"

"Stealing?"  
"Mmm hmm."  
"It's not stealing, it's helping people!"

Kiba groaned, "Look, Naruto, look at it this way. Say the enemy ninja had a doll of you. And you were fighting them. And then your enemy used the doll. Your pretty much screwed, huh?"

Naruto's face twisted in confusion, "But-!"

"Just shut up and help me find Sasuke."

* * *

"Dolphin- chan!"

Iruka flinched slightly, stopping in his tracks. Kakashi landed softly beside him, his eyes curved up in a tell tale sign of a smile.

"Guess what?"  
"Hmm?"  
"It seems our students have found out about the dolls."

Iruka's face curved into a worried look, "The dolls? You mean, the voodoo dolls?"

Kakashi nodded, the smile still there, "The one and only."

The brunette's finger came and rubbed over his scar unconsciously, "How could you be smiling? This could be bad. Who knows what'll happen to them! I mean.. I mean...What if Sasuke's got a doll of Sakura? Or..or.. Naruto? I don't even want to know what he'll do with them!"

"'Ruka...calm down, okay? I'm sure they won't do anything too drastic."

"But.. Sasuke, Sasuke's always had this..._thing_for Naruto and I..." Iruka's face flushed and turned to a mix of horror, he grimaced, "I'm _not_letting Sasuke anywhere near Naruto. Not with a doll!" He huffed, then turned around and marched in the oposite direction of where he was going.

Kaskashi stifled a laugh, then grasped the younger man's arm, "Relax. If anything, this is like a lesson, right?"

Iruka's face twisted to an even more horrified look, "_What_?!"

Kakashi sweatdropped, "That's not _exactly_ what I mean, 'Ruka..."

* * *

Sakura was deadly quiet. She walked slightly in front of Sasuke, her face spared of any emotion.

Sasuke sent her a curious look. Sure, it was nice she wasn't babbling on about pointless stuff he didn't care about, but it was just..._unnatural._ She was supposed to talk. She was supposed to be annoying, loud, and asking him about a date, which she knew she'd get turned down on. She was supposed to be...

Sasuke decided he didn't care. If she wanted to be quiet, he could enjoy it at least.

They walked on for alittle bit, silence encasing the two. A few minutes later, they stopped in front of the pink haired kunoichi's house. She turned to him, a small smile on her face, "Would you like to come in for a bit?"

Sasuke declined. She nodded, and disappeared into the house.

She re-appeared moments later, the flimsy piece of paper in her hand.She handed it to him, Sasuke taking it gratefully, his eyes scanning the paper.

He nodded once to her, and allowed himself to thank her properly once, "Thanks."

Her face inflamed in a violent red color. When he turned his back to her, she called out to him, "Sasuke-kun! Wait a sec!"

When he had stopped, she told him silently, "Ino-pig has a doll of you, too. Becareful, okay?"

* * *

Naruto easily traced Sasuke's chakra signature to outside Sakura's house. He frowned alittle when he saw the two talking without a cold glare, and a disappointed face. His jaw nearly dislocated itself when he heard Sasuke _thanking _Sakura. What was he doing? And _why_ was he thanking her?

His side received a particularly hard jab, he flinched, "Ouch! Dammit, Kiba!"

The brunette smirked victoriously, "Can you explain to me why were eavesdropping on Sasuke and Sakura?"

Naruto hissed back vehemently, "We're not _eavesdropping_, were gathering information!"

"On what?"  
"_Why _exactly is Sasuke _thanking_ _Sakura_?"  
"Someone's jealous."

Naruto promptly fell off the rooftop they were using to get a better look at the two. "Ahhh!" He landed on the ground with a loud thump and a worse for wear orange jumper. He glared up at the rooftop cursing the brunette loudly, "_Jealous? _What the hell? _Jealous? _Nuh uh! No way! That's ridiculous, Kiba!"

Kiba merely pointed behind him, before bursting out in loud laughter. Naruto froze.

"What's this, dobe? Jealous of what?"

Naruto swore to never use rooftops or trees as spying hiding places ever again. He turned around swiftly, standing up, "Hey there, Sasuke!How are you?The weather's nice, isn't it? Yeah, the sun's shining really brightly today. Hey, by the way, I need your help."

Naruto heard a loud laugh come from the rooftop followed by ,"Nice. Unsubtle changing of topics, much?"

Sasuke's eyebrow rose in amusement, "Help with what? Depending on what it is of course."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, but continued, "I need you to use one of your fire jutsu's."

"For what?"

The mountain of chibi dolls Kiba and Naruto had been collecting fell in a group onto the blonde's head, knocking him to the ground. Kiba's loud laugh echoed, as he landed softly beside the groaning blond covered in all the dolls. "For these." Kiba supplied helpfully, "Oh, and don't worry about the large lump of blond underneath. You can burn that too."

* * *

A/N : Finished! Everyone, celebrate! And to everyone who reviews, I'll give you a oreo and cookie dough blizzard (My fav! 3) and two cookies! Hey, seriously, that's a pretty good reward for reviewing isn't it? Well, I would do it at least. Hope you enjoyed the chappie!

This is XxShinka Mi-Mi ChanXx signing out.

(Ehh. don't ask about that. Lol.)


	8. One Obstacle Down

Well, let's hope that this goes along with the plot. I sorta... got distracted heavily from this story. Sorry about that...So, here goes. Cross your fingers!

Oh, and by the way, Im terribly sorry about any mistakes made in earlier chapters. As I was re-reading this, I realized there was alot of mistakes! So, when I went go go fix it, it wouldnt let me. Again. So, Im terribly sorry about the mistakes.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

A faint, low growl came from underneath the massive amounts of dolls. Seconds later, a angry blonde's head came bursting out of the top of the pile. "Kiba!" Naruto growled,"What the hell was that for?"

"Well, I needed to get the dolls down here somehow. You just happened to be in the way of them. Not my fault."

Sasuke frowned as he watched blankly as the two of them fought. He watched Naruto pick up a random doll and chuck it at Kiba`s head, which missed, to the chagrin of the blonde. Kiba, of course, retorted. Quickly, because the blonde`s voice was qucikly escalating on his nerves, he pulled out a blonde doll in his hand, whispered a single word, and pinned the doll to the closest wall.

A loud noise of surprise whoosed out of the blonde`s lungs before he was immediately drawn to the wall and hung there. With large, surprised eyes, Naruto stared at Sasuke. "What th-?When the _hell_ did _you_ get a _doll_ of _me_?" Kiba was rolling with laughter in the backround.

Sasuke shrugged, "When I got the doll of Sakura, of course." Naruto immediately frowned, even when Sasuke continued, "I also got a doll of Kakashi. So, your not special or anything, dobe."

The blonde`s eyes narrowed, despite the faint color of pink on his cheeks, "Why would I want to be special to you?"

Sasuke narrowed his own eyes in response, dismissing the comment, "What did you want with my fire justu`s dobe?" And with that, all traces of irritation flew off of the blonde`s face, "We need them to burn all of these dolls, of course!" He tried to move as if to grab a doll, but was held back. He blinked for a second, then sighed, "Let me down, Sasuke." He fell down the wall as instructed, landing smoothly on his feet. He walked straight over to Kiba, smacked him over the head, and then went and picked up a doll. "Do you know how many dolls we`ve found of you, Sasuke? Considering that, I dont think you should have a problem helping us." He brandished a smiliar chibi doll in Sasuke`s face.

The raven haired boy scoffed, brushing aside the doll in his hand, "Throw it in the pile then." Naruto gave him a sharp look, but did as told. He took a few steps back, noticing Kiba doing the same. Sasuke made a few quick gestures with his hands, and soon blew out a ball of fire. It engulfed the dolls, burning them to pieces. Naruto cheered silently. No more crazy dolls to deal with! Well, at least he hoped he had gotten them all...He still had to get a hold of Iruka-sensei`s and Kakashi-sensei`s for sure but this was good for now. He glanced back at Sasuke, and smiled softly, "Thanks, Sasuke."

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

"Did you _see_ that?"  
Kakashi grinned wide, "Yup!"

Iruka and Kakashi were currently spying. Not very well, mind you. They weren`t very well hidden, and they could probably be seen from most angles miles away. They werent really trying to hide, although Iruka looked like he wanted to go say something about the matter upon which they were spying...

"Dont smile! This isnt really a smiling matter!"  
"Oh, the dolls..I know, it`s a shame, really...But probably for the best."  
"Not the dolls, Kakashi!"  
"Oh...?"

Iruka deadpanned at the pale faced man, turning away from him to continue spying. Maybe he did really worry a bit too much over Naruto...but he couldnt help it! The blonde always got himself into bits of trouble. Although, lately he seemed to be doing just fine on his own. So, maybe it was time to let go of him. Just a little..

"Look, Ru-chan! Naruto-chan just smiled at Sasuke-chan!"  
_"What?!"_

Okay, so it was going to be hard for him to let go...

XDXDXDXDXDXDXD

"You look happy."  
"Of course I am! We just got rid of most of the dolls! That means there should only be a few more..."  
"That you know of."

"Argh!Kiba!" Naruto stormed, turning to face the brunette and walking backwards, "Why do you always have to pop my happy bubble?"

Kiba grinned in response, "Im not popping your bubble, Im just saying!"  
"That`s called popping someone`s bubble!"  
"It`s not!"  
"It sooooo is!"  
"Nuh uh!"  
"Ya hu- ahhh!"

Kiba watched as the blonde tripped, laughing as he hit the ground. "That`s the second time you`ve tripped today. Your just a clumsy idiot, aren`t you?"

Naruto growled, and glanced down at what he tripped on. "Huh?" He picked it up, "Another doll?" He lifted it up for Kiba to inspect, "It`s another Neji doll."

"A-a-ah!" A soft voice called out, "N-naruto-kun, Kiba-kun..." Both boys looked up at their names.

"Hinata?"

The young girl nodded, walking up to the two. Naruto glanced down at the doll, "Is this yours, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata nodded, holding out her hand. He placed it there, getting up and dusting himself off. "You know that those dolls....we`re burning them, right? They`re dangerous, Hinata-chan." She blushed and nodded, "I-I know they`re dangerous..." She turned around suddenly, walking away.

"Wait, Hinata-chan!" Kiba tried calling out, but the girl either didnt hear them - or didnt want to. He sighed, looking after the girl, "So now there`s another one we know of..."

Naruto frowned, "Where the hell are all these dolls actually coming from?!"

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

-----Okay, it`s short. Forgive me. I know all the chapters have been short as of late. ( And I really do mean _late _) But I promise to look over this again when I get back from my summer trip. 


	9. Apology

A/N: Hello, everyone. I want to say I am very, very sorry for the lack of updated chapters, and for losing my notes. If you have read my notes referring to this story on my profile, you know that I have put this story on Hiatus, and have kind of left in the closet for a long, long time.

I am sorry, again and I have decided a few things.

Since my writing style had changed quite a bit (At least I think so...) and my view on stories have changed since I first published Itachi's Voodoo Hotline, I have decided to re-write it. It will be brand new, though not deviating too far from the original story.

Since I have lost my book with all my notes, I will re-plot an outline and stuff for the story, continuing from where I left off previously. And yes, the chapters will be longer. X3

I have, however, deviated from the Naruto fandom quite a bit. It will take a little bit for me to have the feel of the characters again, and learn how to write them again.

I hope you all, whom I love so much that loved my story, will tune into the brand new version of it. Though I make no promises (though I really, really hate to ask you guys to wait a bit longer...)due to the fact that I am currently focusing my attention on my Axis Powers Hetalia fic. But once I am finished with that story, you guys will have me working hard on a new version of Itachi's Voodoo Hotline.

I really hope that you'll tune into the improved version of it, and I am truly sorry for making you guys wait so long. Thank you very much!


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